Panamanian Fig Wasps
The great but tiny Panamanian Fig Wasp has long been ignored as a valid insect, but in light of recent research conducted by Dr. Gilbert Figsby, inventor of the fig tree, this parasitic entity can be seen to be highly important and possessing of many positive abilities and negative powers.
Growing inside Panamanian Figs, the Panamanian Fig Wasp is ecologically interesting by virtue of its affiliation with plant life to sustain its young. Without this cohabitory feature, the Panamanian Fig Wasp would have died out long before it was forgotten by the greater part of humanity.
Before their near-extinction, Panamanian Fig Wasps were fundamental actors in the differential effects of tropical arbuscular mycorrhizal fungal inocula on root colonization and tree seedling growth. This was severely impeded by the lack of fig-living juice-drinking wasps, and a number of interesting photographs was taken.
Even in the wake of the prominent work by Dr. Figsby, it has been commented that the Panamanian Fig Wasp is purely a figment of imagination, although the bite marks on the good Doctor's arm would deny this denial. Among biologists, the fact is taken for granted that not only do Panamanian Fig Wasps exist but that they hold a store of remarkable assault and defence mechanisms.
Firstly, the sting must be considered. The Panamanian Fig Wasp is only very small, as it has to be to enable it to live the first part of its life inside a fig. This means that the sting should be proportional, making it smaller than that of a standard or 'real' wasp. However, this is not the case, as 1cm Panamanian Fig wasps have been found lying by the side of canals in a state of anthropomorphism and being in possession of a sting no less than fourteen feet in length.
However, despite this genetic phenomenon, the sting is not the Panamanian Fig Wasp's first line of defence, nor of attack. Reference was made to the good Dr. Figsby's arm, on which lies a number of bite marks. These were acquired, he tells me, during a routine examination of the genitals of a female Panamanian Fig Wasp which was partially emerging from a fig. It looked him in the eye, so his report runs, and sank its teeth most viciously into his forearm. Dr Figsby was unamused, but remarked that it was an "interesting piece of data for the file" shortly before becoming comatose. The information was duly recorded by his beautiful assistant, Charyx Grant.
In further examinations were conducted by a dedicated research team in Panama, which is near Plymouth, England. The results were published on a website found at www.deepmysteries.forummate.com and described the truth about Panamanian Fig Wasps' mighty jaws. It turns out that their mandibular muscles are as powerful as four Macks (a technical unit of the measurement of force). These work a set of teeth that can grow up to eight million nano-microns in length.
However, of more worthy note is the constructive ability of the Panamanian Fig Wasp, rather than its destructive. While many standard wasps are known to build extensive hives from the pulp of wooden objects (especially fence posts), the Panamanian Fig Wasp is capable of single-handedly building an entire Panamanian Fig Tree. This tree is not, however, a living tree and cannot sustain Panamanian Fig Wasps inside its papier mache figs. This has led to considerable confusion among the Wasps, who found it difficult to go on living.
For this reason, the Panamanian Fig Wasps began to die out, leading to the virtual extinction of this amazing creature. However, a pleasant young Welshman by the name of Gary rescued a small number, and, nuturing them inside juicy figs, brought them back into the wildlife scene. He also ran a series of seminars for the Wasps, outlining the artistic merits of papier mache fig trees but highlighting the importance of distinguishing between these and real Panamanian Fig Trees. This proved to be a great success and Panamanian Fig Wasps are now wiping out encouraging numbers of Americans throughout the region of Panama, US.
Nathan Glover
bravenet.com